My own personal words of wisdom

Things are almost never black and white
When you are young, you see things in black and white. One of the best things about maturing is that you realise things are different shades of grey. There are always two sides to every story, and the truth lies somewhere in between. It makes you more tolerant, and more likely to see things from different angles.

People don’t change
People grow and mature over time (most of them anyway), but they will never fundamentally change. You cannot go into a relationship with the hope of changing someone. Ultimately, their true nature will always prevail.

Your job will never love you back
No matter how much you love your job and no matter how hard you work, it will never love you back. You can work yourself into the ground and your work will step over your dead body to replace you.

Love is never enough
There is a lasting cliché about love conquering all. It can conquer a lot of things. But it is not enough. The biggest problems in relationships are often differing attitudes to money and child-rearing. If you factor in things like cultural differences, different notions of family, politics, religions, you realise that compatibility is crucial. Differences often wear down the relationship over time.

Will this matter on your deathbed?
I often ask myself this when I am upset about something. For me, on my deathbed, the only thing that will matter is love and time. Did I spend enough time with my loved ones. Do they know I love them? Have I shown them that I love them? I am not going to care how big my house is or how much money I have made. All that will matter to me is love.

Your right to swing your fist ends where my face begins
I use this a lot when people start to encroach on my rights. I cannot set boundaries for other people, but I can set boundaries for myself. There is certain behaviour from people that affects me, and that I will not accept. Many people are never taught boundaries, so they think they can act however they like if they are frustrated, angry, or want something. Nope, not in my world, buddy.

Listen for the click
I have spoken about this to other people over the years, and some of them did not understand what I meant until they actually felt the click. Then they say to me ‘NOW I know what you meant’. It usually happens in relationships – with a brand, a company, a person, a job, a politician. There are things you may not like but you accept them because there are other good things about said relationship. And then bam, one day they do something, you feel the click, and there is no going back. No matter how much they try to entice you.

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

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