On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a Sear’s hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
On Boot’s Childrens’ Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a child’s superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.