On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a Sear’s hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Do not turn upside down.

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On Boot’s Childrens’ Cough Medicine:
Do not drive a car or operate machinery

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.

On most brands of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a child’s superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.