40 shower thoughts

  1. When you’re a kid, you don’t realize you’re also watching your mom and dad grow up
  2. Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self acceptance
  3. If elevators hadn’t been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status, and the low-level workers would be on the 15th floor, just like in the old days
  4. Someone dreamt about you last night, and you have no idea
  5. Fire trucks are really water trucks
  6. Pavlov probably thought about feeding dogs every time he heard a bell
  7. Apparently, a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves.
  8. Security at every level of an airport is absolutely ridiculous. Until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s just like take whatever bag you want.
  9. The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times – it’s a whole parallel royal family but with spiders
  10. Manuals for TVs are regarded as useless, but in five thousand years they could be as valuable as the Rosetta Stone: it contains the same text in over 20 different languages and alphabets.
  11. Teeth are the only problem where if you ignore them, they will go away
  12. Go to bed; you’ll feel better in the morning is the human version of Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?
  13. Every broken clock tells you the exact time it passed away
  14. Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience
  15. On a galactic scale, amber and pearl are far rarer than gold and diamonds because they require life
  16. We’ll never really know what it smells like underwater
  17. Even when a balloon is half inflated, it is completely full
  18. Most people pull their phones out of their pockets to check the time. We are reverting to the era of pocket watches
  19. The tallest person in the world has physically experienced being the exact height of every other person in the world at some point
  20. Both concrete and glass are mostly made of sand which makes skyscrapers just really tall sandcastles
  21. Monopoly would be more realistic if the person with the most money got to change the rules whenever they liked
  22. A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you
  23. Wikipedia built the biggest modern information hub using nothing but nerds’ need to correct each other
  24. Clapping is just high-fiving yourself
  25. Air conditioning is just domesticated wind
  26. Nothing is on fire. Fire is on things
  27. Your right elbow will forever remain untouched by your right hand
  28. Normally, you empty your drink from the top, but when you use a straw, you empty it from the bottom
  29. Every word in every language started out as gibberish until one person convinced enough people what they said was a real word
  30. Your car keys have traveled further than your car
  31. Cells multiply by dividing
  32. Aliens invaded the moon on July 20th, 1969
  33. You may have once made a decision that saved your life without knowing it
  34. You will never see yourself in person
  35. When you look at stars, you are actually looking back in the past
  36. When you close your eyes, you are closing your eyelids, not your eyes
  37. The number of people older than you never goes up
  38. Some stranger remembers you for being kind to them when no one else was
  39. The way we treat moths versus butterflies is a real-life example of pretty privilege
  40. Generally speaking, when you feel stupid, it’s because you’re expanding your knowledge and getting smarter.

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

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