Words of Wisdom

  • There is value in the valley – Iyanla Vanzant. I have learned a lot during bad times, and been proud of my strength and ability to keep going when times are tough. I also really appreciate good times now after seeing what life can be like. I try to be grateful for something every single day, even bad ones.
  • When someone close to you suffers a loss, don’t avoid them because you don’t know what to say. This happened to me when my parents died tragically when I was in my teens. My friend group was nowhere to be seen, apart from one dear friend. Afterwards I found out it was because my friends did not know what to say. Fair enough, we were all teenagers. My friends were into parties and boys, and I was a ward of the state dealing with burial plots, wills, estate auctions, and medical bills.  But a simple ‘I’m sorry’ is all that was ever needed, If you feel you cannot say such simple words after a big tragedy, then ‘what can I do to help?’ (rather than the more common ‘let me know if you need anything’) will mean a great deal. Bring food, do a load of laundry. For me it would have been brilliant to go out with my friends and be a normal teenager just for one evening. Or for someone to give me a foot massage and make me dinner.
  • Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe. -Mark Twain
  • Compare and despair – Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is on a different path.

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

2 thoughts

  1. In such situations, I will often say “I don’t know what to say” and give my friend a hug. I also bring over soup.

  2. Thank you for this post, we often don’t know what to say but we can always say something when a friend is bereft. Even just a simple “I’m sorry for your loss, what do you need me to do for you?” can ease the pain and despair briefly

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