Dear Filofax, About Those Rings

Dear Filofax

I have had to return two Filofaxes with faulty ring mechanisms recently. One of those times the Filofax with faulty rings was replaced TWICE with more faulty rings.

Firstly, it seems a bit odd that high end Filofaxes which cost a fortune have shoddy rings, when Filofaxes which are decades old (and certainly never cost up to £500) have rings which are still going strong. Given that you are aware of this problem, surely even if the ring manufacturer cannot be replaced, your quality control could be tightened?

I have some suggestions for alternate uses for faulty ring mechanisms:

1. Paper Shredder – trying to use a Filofax with dicky rings leads to automatic paper shredding. But wall-mounting a faulty ring mechanism and opening and shutting the rings over the paper while pulling will be more effective.

2. Jewellery hanger – mount horizontally and use the gaping rings to hold rings, chains, necklaces, earrings.

3. Hammer – use back of ring mechanism to hammer tacks and nails

4. Towel Holder – mount mechanism horizontally, leave rings open and hang towels on them.

5. Torture Device – snap on any sensitive part of the body

6. Game – open rings and toss the rings used for keyrings over each ring. First to complete the set wins the game.

7. Stationery holder – use to store paperclips, rolls of string and tape

8. Knitting Aid – use the mechanism for wrapping wool. No need for a second set of hands.

9. Belt hanger – hang belts by the buckles.

10. Plant Aid – train topiary around the rings

11. Coffee Mug Hanger – hang from rings

12. Kitchen Utensil Hanger – anything with looped handle can be hung from the rings.

But Filofax, please I beg you