1. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

2. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

3. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

4. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

5. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

6. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

7. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

8. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

9. I run like the winded.

10. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

11. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

12. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

13. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

14. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

shared from The Advantages of Age Baby Boomers page.
The photo is by Philippe Vogelenzang

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

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