Loving Amanda and Tina

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When I found out I could never have children, I was heartbroken. But then, almost 20 years ago, an amazing little human came into my life. She loved me from day one, taught me Swedish, held me as I cried when the man who had been like my father for most of my life died, and firmly believed I was a good person, worth loving.

I thought no one would ever call me mum. I was wrong. I didn’t think I would be a good mother, having lost my own mother so young. I was terrified. But from day one Amanda believed that I was a mother, and I think her belief in me made me one. 

I can remember when I used to fetch her from school just after I moved to Sweden. She was tiny then and used to take my hand as soon as she saw me as though it was the most natural thing in the world. On the way home she would speak to me in Swedish and I would answer her in Afrikaans. Somehow we understood each other. 

She has grown into a wonderful woman and brought so much into my life, including her mother, one of the most generous, kind, and loving people I have ever met. I am even going to be buried in their family grave! How lucky am I? They showed me that family is not blood, it’s love. So much love!

Every time I meet up with this wonderful young woman and her amazing mother (which I am lucky to do often), I thank my lucky stars the universe brought us together.

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PS I don’t often share personal things on my blog but my family in South Africa reads my posts and I always want them to know I am happy, even though I am so far away from them and miss them terribly.

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

5 thoughts

  1. Janet- I read your blog every day and you always post something to make me laugh or make me thing.
    Today’s post is beautiful. It’s so hard to move away from home and I’m so happy for you that you found your “family”.

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