This is so me!

  • When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
  • Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
  • It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
  • The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  • When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
  • I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
  • When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
  • I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
  • I run like the winded.
  • When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
  • When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘east’
  • My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

Author: Janet Carr

Fashion, beauty and animal loving language consultant from South Africa living in Stockholm, Sweden.

One thought

  1. How true! How achingly true. My grandmother, God bless her, always used to tell me, “Getting old isn’t for sissies”. I never knew what she meant until….

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