Over my long life I have become somewhat of a crazy cat lady. I have had cats since I was three years old, and have never been without one. Even during my travels, my bonus mom looked after my cat (he lived with her). With time, I have encountered most things, so people with less experience often ask my advice.
The passing of a pet is devastating. They are, after all, a member of the family. The grief and sense of loss that follows is often hard for people who have never had a pet to understand . Pets are constantly around us, and their toys, bowls, food remain behind after they have passed, an echoing reminder of loss. It is so hard to heal in a place that echoes with the fact that they are no longer there.
For some people, it takes a while (if ever) before they are ready to try again. For others, that hole is filled by bringing home another furry family member fairly soon. There is no wrong or right way. People grieve differently. Don’t ever let people judge the way you grieve or move on.
I have always adopted a new cat fairly soon after one passes. Partly because I generally have multiple cats and the remaining one often terribly misses the company of a companion. Partly to offer love and shelter to a new animal needing a loving home. Also it fills part of the aching piece of my heart.
One of my primary beliefs in life is that love is not finite. The human heart can expand to hold all the love it finds. That is why I have created such a large non-blood family, why I welcome ex-partners and new partners into my heart and home. Love and grief can coexist in the same heart. My loving a new pet does not mean that I stop loving all my beloveds from when I was three.
PS: I have also had dogs, as has my whole family, and fish and birds and other creatures. But cats have been the constant.
