- Buy a leash and attach a harness around a large stone, walk around and drag the stone behind you.
- Get up at 6, go out in pouring rain / blizzard and go up and down a muddy / icy road, say good girl / guy all the time while repeating ” Pee now, pee now… please…”
- Fill your pockets with poop bags and pick up all the dog shit you can find, of course not your dog’s as you haven’t bought it yet
- Start using your shoes indoors, especially during muddy periods. Then you walk around at home with dried mud and gravel all over the floor. And the couch.
- Collect leaves outside and spread them on the floor.
- Bring in sticks and branches and stab them into small pieces until only chips remain and spread out on your finest carpet.
- Pour cold apple juice on carpet and floor…. walk barefoot over it in the dark.
- Pour some chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning and then try to clean the carpet in the evening.
- Use socks and clothes where you have made holes with a blender.
- Jump off the couch minutes before the movie ends and run out in just slippers in pouring rain.
- Cover all your best clothes with dog hair. Dark clothes with bright hair and bright clothes with dark hair. Plus all the furniture and floors.
- Put recorded dog should and whine about timer random over the day, preferably at night or when you lay down to rest.
- Make small rodent holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs. Also tear away bitwise with wallpaper along the baseboards and take a saw and make hack in corner edges on the wall.
- When you wash dishes, splash water everywhere and don’t dry it up.
- Make confetti of toilet paper and spread throughout the home when you leave the house and clean up when you get home.
- Forget to visit friends who don’t have a dog, stop celebrating holidays with family members. Don’t even think about it. Sit at home while roommate and any children come up with something fun.
- Always go home right after work or school.
- Go on foot, regardless of the weather, and inspect all the dirty paper, gum, butts and dead mice that you can find and remove these.
- Wake up at 3:00. Place a sack of potatoes on yourself and try to sleep, while wiping your face with a dishcloth that you have left by the bed in a bowl of water since last week.
- Empty dust from the vacuum cleaner bag over the floors, under furniture and cabinets.
Let this last for a year, and haven’t you lost your mind yet – congratulations, you’re ready to buy a dog. 🐶 🐶
