I was once in a really stressful job, where nothing I said made any difference. In the end I resigned, citing workload as the reason. They replaced me with two people, both of whom resigned in a year, citing workload. That was when I realised the employer did not care.
I have a good employer now but I don’t kid myself – I am ultimately just a cog in their wheel of profit. No matter how much they care about me, their bottom line is more important.
So many people people feel they are indispensable. They don’t take time off, work during holidays (if they take them), work overtime, take on too much work etc, because they feel things will fall apart without them. That is very seldom true. If you did burn out, pass away, leave, they would replace you as soon as possible. Maybe not with someone as good as you, but things go on – with or without you. I learned that the hard way when I burned out a few years ago. My whole outlook changed after that.
I realised long ago that when I am on my deathbed (which could happen any moment), I am not going to wish I had spent more time at work. I am going to wish I had lived my life honourably, lived it as I wanted to, that I had loved utterly, and that I had told people I cared about them whenever I had the chance. So when things get overwhelming at work or small things irritate me, I think ‘will this matter on my deathbed?’ If not, I let it go immediately.