I was once in a really stressful job, where nothing I said made any difference. In the end I resigned, citing workload as the reason. They replaced me with two people, both of whom resigned in a year, citing workload. That was when I realised the employer did not care.
I have a good employer now but I don’t kid myself – I am ultimately just a cog in their wheel of profit. No matter how much they care about me, their bottom line is more important.
So many people people feel they are indispensable. They don’t take time off, work during holidays (if they take them), work overtime, take on too much work etc, because they feel things will fall apart without them. That is very seldom true. If you did burn out, pass away, leave, they would replace you as soon as possible. Maybe not with someone as good as you, but things go on – with or without you. I learned that the hard way when I burned out a few years ago. My whole outlook changed after that.
I realised long ago that when I am on my deathbed (which could happen any moment), I am not going to wish I had spent more time at work. I am going to wish I had lived my life honourably, lived it as I wanted to, that I had loved utterly, and that I had told people I cared about them whenever I had the chance. So when things get overwhelming at work or small things irritate me, I think ‘will this matter on my deathbed?’ If not, I let it go immediately.
This is so very true! Seven months ago I left my job of almost twenty years working for a veterinarian. During the last couple of years I talked to my boss multiple times about my concerns and feelings about the practice and his lack of “give a damn” It fell on deaf years. I spent over a year driving to and from work in tears and even had a couple panic attacks. Thankfully,with the support of my husband I finally decided enough was enough and quit. I miss some of the clients and patients but don’t miss the toxic environment.
I now realize that no job is worth being miserable and no job is worth screwing up your home life. No matter how hard I tried,I always brought my stress home. My husband and I are so much happier now and that alone made quitting worth it.
I am so happy you are happier. Being miserable at a job if you are in a position to make a change is just not worth it. Life is short.
Thank you for this! I needed to hear it!
An absolute truth, just work to live, not live to work. Employers are using you, however nice they seem, always remember that you can be replaced, no one is indispensable. This seems a hard view, but it protects one from the emotional ravages of redundancy, dismissal or bankrucy of an employer.