I came across this post on Reddit where a Redditor had been to an estate sale and found quality items that had never been out of the boxes. I know exactly how excited the Redditor must be to build a beautiful kitchen with these items. It’s always nice to know that something from an estate is going to a home that will love it, rather than be flipped for profit.
As happy as I am that these items are going to someone who will love them, I am sorry that the previous owner did not use them. When I die, I would like to leave well-used, well-loved items behind. In an ideal world recipe books would have smudges, floury fingerprints and splashes of delicious ingredients. My books will be well-thumbed. My teapot would be battered and well used. Probably the only person who would want said teapot would be a family member, and even then only for sentimental reasons. For fond memories of us drinking copious amounts of tea from that teapot while chattering away about everything under the sun.
My mother was born in 1928, and her mindset was heavily influenced by the Great Depression, and the Second World War. She would never ever buy or use nice things. If she did receive something as a gift (dinner service, shoes, handbags), she would never use them. We ate from our rather worn china while my mother saved her fancy dinner service for a special occasion. I learned from a young age to mend my school uniform, darn socks, keep old bits of string ‘just in case’.
When my mother died young, I went through all her things. My heart was breaking as I found all the beautiful items she had ‘saved for best’. Beautiful nylon stockings, glorious soaps (while she used my dad’s Lifebuoy), perfumes, supple leather shoes, gorgeous summer dresses. She was saving everything for a special ocassion that never came. She bought gifts that she forgot she had, and so never had the pleasure of seeing the joy it would bring someone.
From the day I went through my mother’s things, every day is my special occasion. I use the nice china to eat bangers and mash, the best table cloth is always on the dining room table, and I use my crystal glasses to drink my water. I put new shoes on in the shop and leave with my old ones in a bag. I use a fancy soap immediately.
Love this post. The hilarious Erma Bombeck had a regular newspaper column, and one of her few serious posts was “if I had my life to live over” that I remember reading as a college student/early 20-something. I think she had learned she was ill, and it really struck me even at that young age. Not that I don’t still “save” things sometimes, but it’s such a good reminder to be mindful of enjoying and appreciating.
While I do use the good things I own, there is also a quiet hope and optimism, and a sense of preparedness, that people have from keeping things tucked away “for best” and we would do well not to rush to judge this.
I see this in people who lived through traumatic loss or poverty (like the Great Depression) and the feeling of having resources is a personal buffer against the unrelenting scarcity all around. It was also a social norm for most of the 20th century, and wearing one’s best could cause accusations of, at best, “look at her all dolled up in her Sunday best” as though one were being arrogant and boastful – at worse people may think some dishonesty is at play.
Our current relative affluence, in which we’re confident we can always replace what we need or buy something special if the occasion requires it, is built upon a fragile supply chain, intense mechanisation of manufacturing, the labour of people in countries who are disadvantaged by the currency exchange rate, and cheap fuel, and it may not last forever.
Thank you so much for this. My mother was born through the Great Depression and lived through the Second World War, so she was very much a product of her time. Through her I learned to mend clothes, save glass jars, and make a meal go a long way. Thank you so much for your insight.
I never buy things that won’t get used. I’m of the opinion that “saving for best” means leaving it for someone else when you leave this mortal coil and return to the stars.
I’m halfway. I repair and wear my oldest stuff if allotmenting or gardening, but make sure to use my good / best regularly
Wow , what a lovely post and awesome quote.