I have made some edits to this post and am reposting.
When I got engaged about four years ago, I posted photographs of our plain gold bands on social media, and almost everyone who was not Swedish thought we had married. That made me think of engagement and wedding ring traditions around the world.
- In the UK, men from the upper classes traditionally do not wear wedding rings. This became quite a big discussion when Prince Harry recently married. He is the first man in the royal family to wear a wedding ring – his is in platinum – on his left ring finger. Prince Charles does, however, wear a thin gold band under the pinkie ring on his left hand.
- I think the size of the engagement diamond is of more importance in the US than other countries in which I have lived (Ireland, England, Sweden, South Africa). There seems to be an element of ring shaming if the stone is not large. What do you think?
- When I was in Germany some years ago, I asked someone why they had two identical gold wedding bands on their left hand ring finger. They told me it was the tradition for widows and widowers to wear their late spouse’s rings together with their own. Could anyone tell me if this is still true?
- It seems that in parts of Europe, especially in German-speaking regions, as well as in Bulgaria, Cyprus, Denmark, Greece, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, North Macedonia, Norway, Poland, Russia, Serbia, Spain, Turkey, and Ukraine, the wedding ring is worn on the ring finger of the right hand. In the Netherlands, Catholics wear their wedding rings on the left hand, while most other people wear them on the right.
- When I first came to Sweden, both men and women wore a single plain gold band on their left ring finger if engaged, and two matching bands if they were married. This later changed more to plain bands if engaged and a second, diamond ring for the woman if married. Of late though, I notice more traditional diamond engagement rings. In fact, there was a discussion when the royals marrying now all chose to have ‘American-style’ diamond engagement rings for the women only, and matching gold rings for the couple when married.
- An Irish Claddagh is worn on the left or right hand with the crown towards the heart or the heart towards the heart depending on whether you are friends, single, in a relationship, engaged, or married.
- Some countries in Europe seem to go for more coloured stones (sapphires, rubies, emeralds) in their engagement rings than in the UK and US.
- The trend seems to be moving away from white gold to yellow or rose gold for wedding rings, although my favourite jewellery store says that white gold is still the biggest seller. I like silver jewellery but generally avoid white gold because it often needs more maintenance.
- Catholic nuns wear wedding rings on their right hand
- Birthstone engagement rings were more common than diamond rings in Victorian times.
- The De Beers mining company changed the way we thought about engagement diamonds by means of huge campaigns saying a diamond engagement ring should cost 3 months’ salary. Diamonds themselves – unless they are of really good quality – don’t keep value the same way gold does.
Do any of my readers come from a country with special engagement traditions? I would love to learn all about them! I have had a traditional diamond engagement ring in the past but I have always liked the simple functionality of a plain gold band. I was always worried about banging and losing the stone and used to hate leaving it in for 10 days every few years to have the setting checked and tightened. My partner asked if I would prefer a diamond but I wanted something plain, so we had matching gold bands custom-made from ethically sourced recovered gold. They have inscriptions inside. When we married three years ago, my wedding ring was a matching band with a sprinkling of diamonds. I wear them 24/7 though I have no superstitions about taking them off. When I grew up it was thought to be bad luck to remove your ring after your partner had placed it on your finger.
