In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We takeyour bags and send them in all directions.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a tailor shop in Rhodes:
Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
From a car rental brochure in Tokyo:
When a passenger of foot heace in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first but if he still obstracles your passage then tootle him with vigour.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today – no ice cream.
In a Rome Laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop
Ladies may have a fit upstairs
In a Bucharest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well speeching.
Here speeching American.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room please control yourself.
In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a restaurant in Zambia:
Open seven days a week and weekends.
On the grounds of a private school in South Africa:
No trespassing without permission.
On a window of a Nigerian shop:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?
On a poster in Ghana:
Are you an adult who cannot
read? If so, we can help.
On a river in the Democratic Republic of Congo:
Take note: When this sign is submerged, the river is impassable.
In a Zimbabwean restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
A sign seen on a hand dryer in a Lesotho public toilet:
Risk of electric shock. Do not activate with wet hands.
In a maternity ward of a clinic in Tanzania:
No children allowed.
In a photo studio in Chitungwiza (Zimbabwe):
Photos taken while you wait.
Cleaner’s notice – England
Customers having left clothes over 30 days are to be disposed of.
Large Secretary with Swelled Front. Excellent condition, $50
SATURDAY NIGHT DANCE (English Dance Hall)
– Very Exclusive! –
ONCE YOU HAVE DEALT WITH US
YOU WILL RECOMMEND OTHERS!