Stupid Signs



In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We takeyour bags and send them in all directions.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a tailor shop in Rhodes:
Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From a car rental brochure in Tokyo:
When a passenger of foot heace in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first but if he still obstracles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today – no ice cream.

In a Rome Laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop
Ladies may have a fit upstairs

In a Bucharest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well speeching.
Here speeching American.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room please control yourself.

In a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In a restaurant in Zambia:
Open seven days a week and weekends.

On the grounds of a private school in South Africa:
No trespassing without permission.

On a window of a Nigerian shop:
Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?

On a poster in Ghana:
Are you an adult who cannot
read? If so, we can help.

On a river in the Democratic Republic of Congo:
Take note: When this sign is submerged, the river is impassable.

In a Zimbabwean restaurant:
Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

A sign seen on a hand dryer in a Lesotho public toilet:
Risk of electric shock. Do not activate with wet hands.

In a maternity ward of a clinic in Tanzania:
No children allowed.

In a photo studio in Chitungwiza (Zimbabwe):
Photos taken while you wait.

Cleaner’s notice – England
Customers having left clothes over 30 days are to be disposed of.

Large Secretary with Swelled Front. Excellent condition, $50

– Very Exclusive! –
Everybody Welcome!


Categories: Funnies, Writing

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2 replies

  1. Thanks for this post! 😀 😀 😀

    Liked by 1 person


  1. My Love of Mangled English: Introduction — Bird Is the Word

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