Monday 8th May 2013
8am – 9am: Vine Inspector coming from Health and Safety to check the vines. Note to Self: fix fines on the Red Line on Sunday night!
9am – 10am: Compose JungleMail to Filofax about the defective rings in my Filofax. Use decent bones in your rings Filofax!
11am – 1pm: English lesson. Remember to use verbs. Repeat to self: I AM Tarzan, you ARE Jane. No more ME Tarzan, YOU Jane.
4pm: Collect summer loincloth from drycleaner and leave leopard print one in for cleaning and pressing.
5pm: Club dinner over the head and remove feathers or fur before presenting it to Jane. Note to self: help more at home
7pm: Swing Party at the neighbours. Hope they had their vines inspected too because I still have bruises from the last one.
Tuesday 9th May 2013
To Do List
- Jungle Quarterly (note to self: Jane says it is better to say JQ) says camel and fawn loincloths are in this year. So – catch a camel or a fawn. I am SO over prints.
- Bring Jane flowers and club myself over the head to forget what too much Jungle Juice made me do at the Swing Party last night. Note to self: Fix neighbours patio
- Catch fish for supper tonight. Men’s Health says fish are all the rage these days. What the hell is protein?